Colorful Liquids on Halloween Morning
by FaerieofLove
Summary: House gets really hyper in the ER...he switches band positions.
1. Chapter 1

"House?"

"What is it Cuddy? If you hadn't noticed, I'm actually working today."

"Sorry to bother you, but it is your job. Well anyways, as you know, today is Halloween. So be prepared for drunken teenagers, and the retarded chainsaw accidents that occur when men go crazy with carving pumpkins."

"Geez, Cuddy, what generalization about men."

"Well, don't try to tell me that you've never done it."

"Hey, sassy, everybody lies."

"I knew it, jack ass."

"Hey, I'm your boss. I could..."

"Fire me? You know it would be a terrible loss, because you would only have Cameron to flirt with."

"I resent that comment. I have a job to do...enjoy Halloween. Are you wearing a costume?"

"No, that's for kids."

"Well, you look like a witch to me."

House hobbled off towards the ER. Cuddy just rolled her eyes and wandered off anywhere House wasn't.

House enjoyed Halloween, because he liked to see all the stupid mistakes that people made. Like, when a man came in with a foot he thought was haunted, and yes it was his own. He stole medical tools, when they told him they wouldn't amputate, so he tried to cut it off himself. The doctors' scrubs were so bloody, they looked like Halloween costumes. But this was a new year, full of more dumb people for House to criticize.

House hung his cane on a pipe hanging from the ceiling in the ER. The put on his scrubs, and waited for someone to rush a stretcher into the room, just so he could be right, again, and prove Cameron wrong, again. Today was definitely a day for proving Cameron wrong. She could be so sexy when she was angry.

Finally, a stretcher came in the ER, but it went in the OR next to the one House was in. He was too lazy to walk next door so he just cussed.

"Shit."

He started to tap his fingers on the operation table. His eyes lay on the bottles full of colorful fluids. He grabbed an operation tool. The tool hit the row of bottles and made funny noises that House found amusing. He rocked out and hit the metal table. The room was full of loud (and annoying) clinks that made the other doctors glare. He didn't notice.

Finally, Cameron entered the room and grunted.

"Ahem..."

House stopped, and set down the tools. He gave a sheepish grin and embarrassed himself.

"I was...sharpening the tools. They wouldn't cut flesh, I tested them."

"With your own flesh? Very smart."

"Hey. I can do what I want; I'm the boss."

"Whatever. Just keep it down."

"Well, fine then."

House grabbed his cane, and un-scrubbed himself. He thought to himself, _"I'm not a drummer. I'm a guitarist. Acoustic cane guiarism has come back to my office." _He left the OR in the ER, and hobbled into his office.


	2. Acousic Cane Guitarism

"_L, is for the way you look and me, O, is for the only one I see, two in love can make it, take my heart and please don't break it, love was made for me and you..."_

House had his extra cane in his hands. He held it like a guitar and he listened to the 'Oldies station' on the radio. His cane had flames painted on it, and had a rhinestone on the bottom. He hid the cane from Cuddy and Cameron, the only ladies that dealt with his flirting. Cameron had stumbled along Greg once, when he was playing 'acoustic cane guitarism' in his office. She gave him a jaw drop, and left, giggling. House knew she wanted him. She wanted him bad, like every woman he met. Of course, only he though that.

He finally decided to check if there was someone with a complicated disease in the ER, so he could prove Dr. Chase wrong too. He walked crippledly down to the ER, and went into a room where the lights were off. He turned them on and raised an eyebrow.

Cameron and Chase were sitting on the operation table, making out. They sprung apart and pretended to be studying someone's file together.

"You two aren't sick. Just sick minded. I'm going to have to kick your young love in some other deserted room."

"We're studying a file."

"No you're not, you were having one of your sexual conversations in my ER."

Dr. Chase gave one of those facial expressions when he looks like he has a double chin. Alison just looked away and hid her embarrassed (and red) face from House. Then Chase looked really pissed.

"No. We. Weren't. We were looking at...(Chase read the file's title) Sam Hafermann's file."

"Chase, don't play dumb with me. I saw Cameron button her shirt. I also got a glance at Cameron's black bra."

"It's navy."

Chase looked astonished that he actually said it out loud. Cameron sighed (ugh) and raised an eyebrow at Chase as a way of saying, "Great move, very unsuspicious." chase shrugged his shoulders. House left the room with a 'huh' and Cameron left Chase; so mad she almost left a trail of flames behind her.

Chase stood there, and them called after Alison.

"Al, wait!"

"No, Chase. That wasn't a smooth move. Now everyone will know. Thanks."

"Alison, it just slipped out."

"Like you letting everything about us slip out! I _NEVER _WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

"So we're breaking up?"

"We were never officially together. So, yes. Just...do your job."

Alison stormed off, and Chase just gave himself another double chin. He just watched her go, and then turned on his heel, and went the other way.

Alison walked past House's office, where he just stared at her through the window. She tripped on her own feet, and broke her heel off her shoe. House got up, and opened the door.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!"

"Alison, you can borrow my extra pair of heels, they're in the closet."

"Ha ha. Funny, House. These are irreplacable. They're Prada."

"Oh, whoopdedo. I don't care. Just walk around in your socks."

"Ugh, gross House."

"Do you want to hobble like me?"

"Well, no."

"Problem solved."

House strode off, and turned on the 'Oldies station'. Then his phone rang.

"_Hey, we have a patient for you. They broke their head open. We're in the fourth room in the OR."_


End file.
